@brennadine: Cinderella taught me that everything will work out just fine so long as you have unconscionably small feet.
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@madeleinedoux: [date at rooftop bar] give me ur hand "Is tha-are u wearing a squirrel tail?" *rips off jacket to reveal flying squirrel suit* do u trust me
@kelownagoose: Bought 17 a fanny pack for back to school to delay my becoming a grandfather too early.
@k_lli: A guy was honking at a car ahead of him to speed up at 6AM so I followed him bc his job must be amazing if he's that excited to get to work.
@Naked_Superman: Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate Baby, I'm just gonna shake their soda