@o__0Dev: Getting out of bed in the morning always gave me a headache until I tried it feet first.

@thetigersez: Literally nothing gives me more anxiety than when someone asks me what I like to do for fun.

@TheCatWhisprer: Telling my toddler not to chase the cat around with her nunchucks is easily the coolest thing I've ever said as a dad or a human.

@cambuslad: You know you're getting old when you scroll down the birthday drop down menu ... And it starts going into Roman Numerals.

@TheMichaelRock: Why is everyone mad at Kim Davis? Nobody in the government does their job.