@omgthatspunny: Cinderella was thrown off the basketball team because she ran away from the ball.
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@AmericanGent69: *holds flashlight under chin Me: suddenly the mystery of... Son: haha Dad has like 3 chins *drops flashlight Me: SANTA CLAUS IS FAKE!!
@Hobo_Splendido: For the low, low price of $14.95, I'll send you my instructional DVD, "How to Succeed as a Con Man."
@JB4Realz: WIFE: What the...? ME: I'm teaching him to play piano. W: You idiot! M *covering chicken's ears*: Not in front of Johann Sebastian Bock-Bock