@fro_vo: CITY PLANNER: what should we call the paved path next to the street
CRAB: i have an idea
@tsm560: [in bed]
Her: Easy, cowboy. I'm not having unprotected sex.
Me: No worries!
Her: Where are you going?
Me: To lock the front door.
@LinajkReturns: Poached salmon on a bed of brown rice with peas or Roasted duck with polenta and organic green beans?
Choosing dog food is hard.
@TattleTSister: You're an open book?
"Throws you into a bonfire."
@DothTheDoth: How many dates should you wait before you tell a girl that you're just a barn owl
@philyuck: I just told my dog to "say hi" to another dog. And yes, I realize that's crazy; this chihuahua obviously only speaks Spanish.