@FlyoverJoel: Civil War reenactments are a lot like meetings. You do the same thing over and over again while waiting for your turn to die.
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@WornOutMommy: I can't wait to jump on my kids' beds at 5am on Mother's Day, and holler "WHAT DID YOU GET ME?!?"
@Mr_Kapowski: "Don't tell me how to raise my cat!," I yell at my 7 y/o daughter who's chastising me for baby birding a tuna sandwich into my cat's mouth
@jus4golf: I once went out with a girl that said she was flexible like a Slinky. Two flights of stairs later, I decided she wasn't.
@okimstillhungry: I can't wait for thanksgiving. It's an election year so that means there will be at least 4 fist fights and someone's getting disowned.