@OhNoSheTwitnt: CIVIL WAR SPOILER: A lot of people in the South still don't know they lost.
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@PaperWash: vampire waiter: would you like to order? customer: I'll have a steak vampire waiter: [sweating nervously] what...wuddya need a stake for?
@tastefactory: "YOU HAVE A CUT ON YOUR FINGER YOU HAVE A CUT ON YOUR FINGER YOU HAVE A CUT ON YOUR FINGER" - salt
@Daddyissues__: Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chic is you.