@garrettn: Claiming that someone else's marriage is against your religion is like being angry at someone for eating a donut because you're on a diet.
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@tangledteatime: Me: Alright. Does everyone have their parachutes? Paul: Yup. Dave who sometimes lies for fun: *giggling* Yah.
@thezwickers3: In order to get my teenagers attention I shut off the WiFi router and wait for them in the room it's in.
@trevso_electric: Leave a Post-It on your girlfriend's birth control that says, "guess u don't want 2 have my babies haha."