@garrettn: Claiming that someone else's marriage is against your religion is like being angry at someone for eating a donut because you're on a diet.
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@SomthinBoutSara: Ever listened to 90s R&B lyrics? Sex you up? Licky boom-boom down? No wonder none of us know what the hell were doing in relationships
@moooooog35: [1st day in Senate] Me: I'm against genetic engineering Scientist: We've developed kids w/ volume knobs Me: How much funding do you need
@MrsMikePatton: If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he become a werewolf permanently?
@Sickayduh: "We need a name for this big flat state full of corn and you're gonna be the one to do it" "I...uhhh... Wha?" "Nailed it. Next state."