@zgbetty: Class action lawsuits are gangs for white people.
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@BuckyIsotope: "I'm in international waters, your damn laws can't touch me" I scream to the police as I dog paddle naked in my neighbors swimming pool.
@GordoHelio: Job interview... H- "So how would you describe yourself?" Me- "Verbally but just incase I prepared a dance"..
@EndhooS: [Commercial for babies] *100 year old woman trying to feed a brick a bottle of milk* "There's got to be a better way"
@KenJennings: PERSONALITY TEST: When you read an obit where someone passes away "surrounded by family," do you picture murder, or suicide?