@That70sLife: Classic fez
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@DWaitress: You're right, sir. It's MY fault that your credit card was declined. Please, tell me again how much money you have in that account.
@michaelajeffery: Watched a guy buy several single bananas at various stages of ripeness (instead of a bunch). Realized I was in the presence of genius.
@GrowlyGrego: FIRED? But I just started! How could I have known we don't do casual Fridays here? Fine. Direct your own goddamn funeral. *flip-flops away*
@Home_Halfway: Sometimes I get shivers in my spine just thinking about how much tougher Popeye would've been if he'd eaten fresh spinach instead of canned.