@junejuly12: Cleaning out my handbag. Wondering if nine pens are enough.
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: The new neighbors moved in today. I brought them a box of condoms to show how much I don't want anymore children living on our street.
@juliussharpe: Gotta be careful. My astrologer just warned me someone pretending to predict the future would steal my money.
@FlyJ_: I still don't understand why my boss didn't like my idea of playing musical chairs at our next Monday meeting. He asked us for new ideas.
@jharden21: Me as a news anchor: an explosion at a nearby t-shirt warehouse resulted in thousands of *turns head to other camera* casual tee casualties