@meganamram: Cleanliness is next to godliness in a dictionary missing some stuff
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@WeissBrandon: Everyone quits smoking when they die, which sucks cause dying is a really stressful event that would be helped quite a bit by a cigarette.
@Cpin42: It creeps me out when my dog watches my wife and I have sex. We hide the videotapes, but he always finds them.
@BrainFumbles: [throws dirty diaper away] - OMG WHAT R U DOING?! - it's gross im not touching that - GET THE BABY OUT OF THE TRASH & CHANGE IT! - ugh, fine
@HungoverLawyer: Ladies: We leave the toilet seat up because we don't want to touch it any more than you do.