@SardonicTart: *Cleans out purse and finds another purse*
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@liv_thatsme: Rice cakes have only 50 calories. But packing peanuts have 0 calories & they taste exactly the same.
@Danny_Dilford: I was wondering why I wasn't picking up any chicks recently, but then I realized my Monster energy sticker fell off my car
@JPHaddadio: Well, the mechanic called. Apparently, in addition to a muffler, my car also needs a new car.