@ThisOneSayz: Clearly something went amiss when I said I liked an animal in the bedroom and he showed up with a raccoon.
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@realHamOnWry: My inner child just threatened to call Social Services if I don't eat ice cream for supper tonight.
@AristotlesNZ: Hey! I took my diaper off, see? Oh! Look! I found your power drill! Gonna go see if it fits an outlet.. Bye! -My 2yo when I'm on the toilet
@BindzBrain: The last 3 minutes of any podcast could all be confessions to murder and we'd never know
@slimmy_shady: My tongue was actually in the Guinness Book of World Records until the damn librarian kicked me out.