@ThisOneSayz: Clearly something went amiss when I said I liked an animal in the bedroom and he showed up with a raccoon.
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@RxitWounds: [Brings date home] O geez did I leave all my rare, holographic Pokemon cards out on my bed again? Guess we'll just have to lay here & battle
@MarkAgee: "Pres. Trump, how do you plan to respond to this attack on our soil?" TRUMP: OK first, I've seen several people call me Tronald Dump online
@lafpgh: Him: My brother wants us all to go camping together next summer. Me: Can’t go, I’m allergic. Him: To what? Me: Everything you just said.