@ThisOneSayz: Clearly something went amiss when I said I liked an animal in the bedroom and he showed up with a raccoon.
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@KenJennings: STAR WARS SPOILERS Admiral Ackbar has gained quite a bit of weight and everyone calls him "Admiral Snackbar"
@withanewname: "SIRI, WHERE'S THE REMOTE?" -- "SIRI, BRING ME A BEER!" -- "SIRI, WHERE'S MY DINNER?" -- Wife: "She's either deaf, or had sex with you too."