@ThisOneSayz: Clearly something went amiss when I said I liked an animal in the bedroom and he showed up with a raccoon.
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@meganamram: Just heard about this teacher who had sex with her student. Another reason I won't send MY dog to obedience school
@terio1429: Library charged my Visa $15.60 for my son's lost Dr. Seuss book. Teri got mad oh yes she did, Teri got angry and grounded her kid.
@inmybox07: You might think I’m flirting, but really those faces are just me trying to get the peanut butter off the roof of my mouth
@4SLars: PSA: If your kid bumps into me one more time with your shopping cart I will unhinge my jaw and swallow him whole.