@o__0Dev: Clearly the people that design refrigerators don't know me if they think 1 tiny cheese drawer & 2 giant vegetable drawers is the way to go.
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@OfficeLinebcker: A: Just had to explain the difference between "mute" and "moot" to a younger co-worker. Q: Why am I drinking out of a flask at work?
@stephenjmolloy: Job interviewer: "Why do you want to join the Secret Service?" Me: "It's a secret." Job interviewer: "You got the job."
@TheRolo: Hey guurl. "Hey there." Feeling lonely tonight? "I have a boyfriend." Why are you talking to me then? "You haven't taken my order yet."
@Brentweets: Playing Guess Who these days is hard "Is your person white?" "Excuse me?" "Is your person white?" "I don't see skin color I just see people"