@GuyAdvisor: Cleavage is the original Jedi Mind Trick.
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@LifeUnPinterest: Make it RAAAAIN!! ICE CREAM GUY: Ma'am, everyone gets the same amount of rainbow sprinkles.
@Brampersandon_: First time flying huh? -Yeah how could you tell? Just a hunch. You wanna come down to your seat? The overhead bin is typically for luggage.
@KalvinMacleod: WIFE: you need a haircut ME: I do not WIFE: *whistles and a little bird pops up on top of my head, chirping* ME: shhhh, she just had babies
@Masquerage: I forgot my phone so I asked this guy what time it was. He said "time to get a watch" & laughed. So I kicked him in the balls. It was 6:30.