@brendanmcginley: Cleveland checks its makeup in the mirror, promises itself this time with LeBron won't be like before.
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@AtticusFinch79: [bakery] Him: This wedding cake is perfect for us! Look at all of the tiers! Me: Definitely not happy tears Him: What? Me: What?
@WilliamAder: By the time someone says something in the meeting worth writing down, I've likely already taken my pen apart and lost the spring.
@OohSnapItsChris: My financial advisor told me that I could catch up on my bills if I stopped buying so much pizza. We laughed and laughed. Then I fired him.
@lawyerthoughts: court: counsel why are you yelling your questions from back there? me: i've got my phone plugged in back here your honor.