@brendanmcginley: Cleveland checks its makeup in the mirror, promises itself this time with LeBron won't be like before.
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@mjkspeaks: [arguing w girlfriend] Her: I feel like we have communication problems. Me: srsly? wow I text u like every day.
@Tmoney68: [Cannibal Restaurant] Waiter: Need anything else? Cannibal: No, I'm stuffed. I can't even finish this. Could I get a body bag?
@lucidchemistry: [in bed] her: u have done this before, right? me: yes, of course. measure twice, cut once her: what? me: what?
@BCMontgo: What's the issue officer? Officer: You have no idea why I pulled you over? I have some ideas, but would like to hear your opinion first.