@Parkerlawyer: Client, "I should have known this marriage was going to fail when he hid my engagement ring in a gas station taquito."
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@EvilSchwartzie: The police get mad at you if you try to marry a squirrel. Even if you're pretty sure it's a girl squirrel.
@rolldiggity: Fun Game: 1. Be a couple without kids. 2. Hire a babysitter. 3. When they show up and ask where the kid is, scream, "You lost it already?!?"
@robdelaney: Vaccines comes from doctors --> Doctors are part of Obamacare --> Vaccines are BAD #Bible #AmericanSniper
@OhNoSheTwitnt: I ended it after I checked his browser history and found hundreds of video game walk-throughs. Once a cheater, always a cheater.