@Parkerlawyer: Client, "I should have known this marriage was going to fail when he hid my engagement ring in a gas station taquito."
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@notacroc: Date: Lets break the ice. Polar bear: break th-[shatters Coke bottle] BREAK THE ICE? What are you saying?! D: I mea- PB: THATS MY HOME LINDA
@LuvPug: But seriously- how do Superheroes even go to the bathroom? I mean, look at their costumes.
@lakeanagirl: I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the crap out of me. That's it. No more reading!
@neiltyson: Because you know I’m all about that data, ‘bout that data. No trouble. I’m all about that data, ‘bout that data. No trouble.