@dshack8: Cliff diving? No thanks. I get all of my near death thrills by rolling my eyes when my wife asks me to move my feet while she vacuums.
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@KLC47: @KrangTNelson @funTweeters I am not a millennial, I am straight out the the 70's and I make up new words to suite myself. Like you don't get a spoonful of mashed potatoes you get a thwack of mashed potatoes because that is the sound it makes when they hit your plate thwack.
@squirrel74wkgn: [at the gym] Friend: This sauna is way too hot! Me: *slowly slips on jean jacket* Is it cooler now?
@5hael: This idiot from Apple reckons that the "Temperature, iPhone needs to cool down" warning message has nothing to do with all my hot selfies
@TheBoydP: If tennis rules were chasing the ball and bringing it to your opponent without letting him have it, my dog would be the best in the world.