@dshack8: Cliff diving? No thanks. I get all of my near death thrills by rolling my eyes when my wife asks me to move my feet while she vacuums.
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@SadPeruna: If da Vinci were alive today, the "Mona Lisa" would have been called "IMG-20121020-00463.jpg"
@_knuck_: *wife & I finally look up from our phones after 9 months* "Have you had the kid yet?" -No "Well, I'm level 77 on candy crush."
@fro_vo: [first date] Me: so what do you do Date: i'm a veterinarian Me: thank you for your service Date: veterinarian not veteran Me: ok but still