@fuzzlime: I like how the dude in the next self-checkout lane is trying to disarm me with small talk like we don't both know this is a goddamn race

@DrakeJoshQuotez:

@JeremyBRoberts: I think the 2016 Cubs would beat the 1908 Cubs. First, the 1908 Cubs are all dead. Second, the 2016 Cubs are all alive.

@shimmala: My kids are gonna be super disappointed when they find out sweet talk involves no exchange of tangible confectionary goods.

@BK_Blonde: I can't imagine why more guys don't do yoga. 1. Yoga pants 2. Lots of girls 3. Lots of girls in yoga pants doing yoga moves