@Tha6God: I HAVE BEEN TO FOUR DIFFERENT FABRIC STORES LOOKING FOR THIS 'WIFEY MATERIAL'! WHERE COULD THIS TYPE OF MATERIAL BE!?

@generaldietz: [space station] me: *winks* let's get astronaughty her: seriously? me: honestly, the only reason i became an astronaut was to say that

@hazelmotes1: *gets fired the first day on the job as an EMT for trying to cook a frozen burrito with the defibrillator*

@RobotSkeleton69: It was only after I started dancing in the food court - alone - that I learned flash mobs are planned...

@Bagyants: Hang in there, people suffering from natural disasters and deadly diseases - we're putting ribbons on our cars as fast as we can