@WritePlay: Ariel was a minor and couldn't sign a legally binding contract. You'd think the king of the ocean's lawyers could get that shit thrown out.

@iliezabeth: ALIEN:*points at Chihuahua* whats that? ME: a dog ALIEN:*points at Husky* whats that? ME: dog ALIEN:*getting angry, points at Pug* whats THA

@shanethevein: I'm starting to think some of you are actually on Facebook. You know we just joke about being Facebook right?

@ArfMeasures: [zoo] ME: Haha...this one's face! WIFE: Tha- M [bangs on glass] W: Stop it M [pulls funny face] W [elbows me aside] So sorry, 2 tickets pls

@karencheee: People are like trees: you can figure out their age by cutting into them & counting the rings. Right? I didn't do this for nothing, right?