@PostCultRev: "Clue" is a board game about people trapped in a house and one of them is a homicidal maniac who has just killed. Ages 8 and up.
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@GoodZiIIa: [after wife gives birth] wife: he has your eyes me: [nurses holding me back] give me back my eyes you thief baby
@dmc1138: This new flavor of Pringles is horrible. First of all, they aren't even cut up. Secondly, they taste like tennis balls.
@AmericanGent69: Facebook Friend: I woke up at 3:30am so I could sneak in a 8 mile run. Me: I skipped showering so I could sleep an extra 15 minutes.
@007Rex_Inc: Saint Peter: Name M: David SP: You're in M: Even after that night in Nogales?! SP *winks* *takes a step* *trap door opens* SP: Sucka!