@wolfpupy: clutches my newly bought loaf of bread nervously as i walk past the duck pond
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@mantej: PRO TIP: Name your first child "butter", then accidentally take a different baby home just so you can say "I can't believe it's not butter!”
@JimmerThatisAll: This day in history. 1950. The FBI put out its first 10 Most Wanted list and my dad lost a bet because only 2 of the guys were his brothers.