@stacywawa1: C'mon, I can't be the only one that does kegels to pass the time in meetings
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@hammbone84: If you guys don't start appreciating my tweets, I will introduce my mom to Twitter. Don't make me ruin this for everyone.
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: Is there candy in that drawer? Me: No. 4: Can I check? Me: Do you have a warrant?
@10InchesPlus: Did Batman know that Alfred was embezzling billions to finance a 4-person Magic act that was a front for robbing banks?