@JohnLyonTweets: C'mon, when have I ever let you down? That was rhetorical, actually. Yes, that is a lot. Wow, did not expect you to bring out a chalkboard.
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@RubyBottoms: The ex says he's come into some money and can finally "take care" of me. Wait...he's gonna have me killed isn't he?
@jenniferfralic: Remember to horrify your friends and family by testing out your tweets on Facebook today
@ShipInTheKnight: Twitter is like a conversation at the water cooler. If the water cooler was full of vodka. And you could smoke. And the boss was out of town