@Brentweets: CNN got really excited about the #TransAsia plane until they found out it's not missing so now they don't care.
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@Kate_Goldsmith: I thought I typed "twitter" in my URL, but I got Hot Russian Ladies somehow instead. So, I guess I have a wife in the mail....
@primawesome: Facebook: Hey remember this pic of your dog that died? Me: Damnit Facebook not now. FB: Sorry... FB: Your ex girlfriend is getting married.
@tomw1984: I'm off work next week so I'm gonna throw this knife at a map, where it lands I go. *throws knife, misses map.* Space, I'm going to space
@BuffaloHomo: Instead of being frustrated that you only have a 140 character limit just be thankful that I do.