@TheTweetOfGod: CNN just wondered if I'm sending disasters to punish you for your sins. No, I'm sending them to punish you for CNN.
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@dave_cactus: ME: I'll have the chicken dinner. WAITER: Yes, sir. *throws corn on the floor* Here, chick chick chick. ME: *pecks at the ground* Excellent.
@abbycohenwl: "Where do people already feel awkward & uncomfortable?" "Church?" "K let's make 'em like that" -- funeral home designers