@TheTweetOfGod: CNN just wondered if I'm sending disasters to punish you for your sins. No, I'm sending them to punish you for CNN.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@vinfury: Asterisks are awesome. *tosses a midget dressed in sexy maid outfit off the Eiffel Tower with parachute made of pancakes*
@kingsleyyy: Conservatives after a mass shooting: "You can't take our guns!" Conservatives after a police shooting: "But he had a gun!" I'm confused.
@LaceyNycole: *brings donuts to work* Co-worker: I have a gluten allergy, so I have to watch what I eat. Me: Cool, then you can WATCH me eat this donut.
@TheHyyyype: [creation of insects] LIGHTNING BUG: I will illuminate the night BEE: I will pollinate flowers FLY: I will eat shit and die