@TheTweetOfGod: CNN just wondered if I'm sending disasters to punish you for your sins. No, I'm sending them to punish you for CNN.
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@TweetPotato314: Me: Are you gonna change your name after we get married? Her: Yes Me: What do you think of "Jessica Rabbit"?
@DancesWithTamis: In an incredible turn of events we've been informed that the zodiac killer has killed himself after being mistaken for Ted Cruz
@Angibangie: GOD: How many animals left to make? ANGEL: 2 G: Ok how many aerial locomotion abilities left? A: 1 Flying Squirrel: Dibs! Penguin: WHAT