@TrueTorontoGirl: CNN: We're not sure but we'll report it anyway.
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@NintenDom: Of course Bruce Willis is going to keep playing the same movie roles. You know what they say about old habits.
@LosLos__: •phone call• Wife: Want a free couch? Me: Free? Yes! Wife: How do we pick it up? Me: Lift with your legs, not your back. Wife: *click*
@PartyBitchKayla: advice to my younger self: dont bang that old man on his helicopter he’s not joe biden
@GingerHotDish: *waves arm in the direction of the lake* One day, all this will be yours. 12: Are you threatening to drown me? Me: Just make your bed, k?