@CM2BTTHD: Co-worker had a meltdown over someone having a b-day cake. Said since she has no willpower, stop bringing cake in. Tonight, baking cookies.
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@dave_cactus: [Grade 6] TEACHER: You can't end a sentence with a preposition. ME: You just did. TEACHER: What? ME: Ended a sentence with "a preposition."
@Book_Krazy: [Boss hands me 12 pages of complaints about my smart-ass remarks] Me: so I guess the whole "we're going paperless" rules dont apply to you?
@samlymatters: I love Buzzfeed because all the headlines are something a drunk girl would say right before passing out. “Um did you know corgis can wink??”
@KentWGraham: I’m glad humans don’t do the combo breed names like Labradoodle. I wouldn't want to tell people I’m Germish.