@KimmyMonte: Coachella was invented in 1999 when someone accidentally planted a headband in the desert
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@dmc1138: Almost done with my screenplay about the end of the world, and only cats survive. I call it "Apocalypse Meow".
@Mr_Kapowski: *begins massaging shampoo into her hair* *purposely gives her a wet willy* Her: Hey! I’m gonna get you fired from this salon! Me: *whispers in her ear* Good luck. I don’t work here
@iTomFoolery: Justin has his Beliebers. 1D have their Directioners. If I ever had fans/stalkers I’d call them Tomaskateers.
@LoveNLunchmeat: No thanks, body wraps. If I believed magic would make me thinner, I'd eat a wizard.