@torrami: Coca Cola: Because drinking black water seems like a solid life choice.
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@callie_cakes: Ex: Holy skinny jeans! Me: They are new. Like them? Ex: Sure... Me: What? Ex: Should a woman your age wear those? Divorce Reason 509
@beefman138: A coworker just told me that "it is what it is" and I have never felt so enlightened.
@ashmensch: That's me, I'm the coroner, That's me with the sharp knife, Removing all your organs.