@dubstep4dads: .@cocacola i tried to give a coke bottle to a polar bear. he did not accept. also he took my son. i need my son back
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@BrettDruck: I may seem confident on the outside but deep down on the inside I remember every time I've accidentally leaned on a light switch.
@BarebakAssassin: Most problems can be solved by pouring a concrete slab over the person causing the problems.
@gamecox93: Now that I have an adult coloring book, most arguments with my 3 yr old are over fridge space.