@SardonicTart: Cocktail shrimp is just regular shrimp in a little black dress.
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@KrunkedRobot: I just filled up my gas tank and went to a movie and bought a large soda and popcorn, I spent roughly 7000 dollars.
@jonathantony: Age 20: "You free for lunch?" "Yeah, meet you there now." Age 30: "You free for lunch?" "Yes, let's schedule it in for 3 weeks from now."
@cbme69: [Leaving ballgame] Officer: have you been drinking? Me: Yes, but I assure you officer I can't afford to get drunk there.