@donni: Codpieces aren't supposed to made out of fish? Crap! Hang on, then, I need to change.
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@truegritrumble: ME: I'm going to start a blog. FRIEND: Ugh. Blogs are so narcissistic. I just talked about that on my podcast.
@_The_Man__: wife: im pregnant me: what? im not ready to be a mother we still have petty arguments wife: im the mother me: this is what I'm talking about
@ComedicBust: [First Date] Me: Wanna check out the local garden? Her: That sounds amazing. [arriving at Olive Garden] Me: Damn, it's busier than usual