@donni: Codpieces aren't supposed to made out of fish? Crap! Hang on, then, I need to change.
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@tweetingdouche: Does anyone know how the lady reacted when Van Gogh gave her his ear? Was it positive? Cause I'm running out of ideas for gifts.
@Easy_Tiger__: ATTN: I'm looking for a new girlfriend Are you: 1. Between the age of 11-69? 2. Mostly female? 3. Trained to poop outside? DM for details
@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: Why are we here? Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions