@amhw: Coffee: Because when you're groggy and barely coherent, the first thing you should do is handle a scalding hot cup of liquid.
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@GABBYdaAngSaya: God: You'll be cursed to travel the desert for 35 years Moses: *slipping him $20* How about 30 [Later] Moses: We must wander for 40 years
@KalvinMacleod: [pearly gates] ANGEL: bad jokes are not allowed in heaven ME: ok ANGEL: that means absolutely no puns ME: abSOULutely *clouds turn to fire*
@Cheeseboy22: I like to sneak a donut into the salad bar so everyone will ask, "WAIT, THERE'S DONUTS?" and I say, "Sorry, last one!" and then eat it.