@Hormonella: Coffee so good it helps a little old lady cross the street.
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@Dr_awfulpants: [Spelling Bee] -Your word is phlegm -Can you use it in a sentence? *loudly clears throat for 5 minutes*
@SADCHICANA: why do people romanticize the 1950s? like calm down, we still have milkshakes and racism
@carlyken: [The Twitter Breakdown of 2015] Angry mobs storm the streets, forcing clever wordplay down the throats of unsuspecting, innocent bystanders
@UncleDuke1969: When I have a tough decision, I ask myself... "What would Jesus do?" Then, I remember how things turned out for him... And, flip a coin.