@1_swarthy_dude: Coffee so strong, it still works even though you've disabled java.
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@FlipPrincesss: Who gets the job of writing the fortunes in the cookies? I want that job. I could really screw with some people.
@TheBoydP: I can’t tell the difference between large, extra large and jumbo eggs. There, I said it.
@murrman5: [surgeon in the recovery room] in addition to the hernia we also found $20 in change [me who's always been a good tipper] you're welcome