@1_swarthy_dude: Coffee so strong, it still works even though you've disabled java.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jwoodham: If your building doesn't have an elevator and you don't live on the first floor, we can't date. I'm looking for a relationship, not a gym.
@iRowlf: My girlfriend thinks that I can't cook, but as soon as I figure out how much Play-Doh is supposed to go in meatloaf, I'll prove her wrong.
@huntigula: [Donald Trump's election speech] "America, I have only 1 thing to say" *pulls off wig & mask revealing Ashton Kutcher* "YOU'VE BEEN PUNK'D"