@MissAnneBlondie: Coffee so strong, you finish the "to do" list, that you haven't even written yet.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MariyaAlexander: Someone please recommend a self-help book that can teach me how to sleep through an alarm.
@pinupteacher: [Chaperoning field trip] ME BEFORE WE GO: Only rule is don't lose any kids. AFTER I LOSE A KID: New rule. You're allowed to lose one kid.
@iscoff: We'd like to sincerely apologize for booking the Karate Convention on the same day as the Rare Wooden Boards Fair
@dshack8: "Well, I guess I'll stagger around, speak gibberish, & touch all the shit I'm not supposed to while you get irritated." Drunks & toddlers.