@MissAnneBlondie: Coffee so strong, you finish the "to do" list, that you haven't even written yet.
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@shawnries: Cars should have a thing where if you drive around with your blinker on for too long, they explode.
@_LittleMsBossy_: Apparently saying 'exist over there' while pointing is not the best way to greet people in the mornings.
@QwertyJones3: Surgeon: I'm unable to perform this surgery. I've only got 10,000 spoons, when all I need is a knife.
@notalogin: [Interview] CEO: Why do you think you'd be a good fit at our firm? GUY WHOSE DESCRIPTION IS SO LONG HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY GET TO SAY ANYTHING: