@Home_Halfway: Colin Firth has a younger brother named Colin Thecond
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@flashember: *stares into wormhole* Whoa man, cool. *gets slapped by worm* Pervert! *worm wiggles away*
@Quartzjixler: My office manager emailed all 400 employees to inform us that our new paper towel dispensers AREN'T automatic. The human race is doomed.
@KevinFarzad: I'm tired of being told to remove my card rapidly. Starting a new ATM for people who wanna remove their card at a more chill pace