@Fickle_Filly: Colleagues who feel the need to say "You either love me or hate me!" are oblivious to the fact that it's always the latter.
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@Tmoney68: People always ask why I'm wearing a sombrero in my high school graduation pictures. Clearly, because it was my señor year.
@SCbchbum: The directions on every jar of anti-aging cream should read: “Apply liberally to face & neck 20 years ago.”
@Samigrl2: The problem with marriage is that it was invented when people lived to the ripe old age of 30.
@oxnuxo: Fire engines are painted red for camouflage, so they can sneak up on fires without being noticed