@Fickle_Filly: Colleagues who feel the need to say "You either love me or hate me!" are oblivious to the fact that it's always the latter.
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@onelongbender: Everyone wants their kid to learn to walk until exactly 30 seconds after their kid learns to walk.
@MurphyMcLachlan: Doc I keep throwing up Did u eat anything odd lately No What about that bottle youre holding labelled "lizard juice" You said eat, idiot
@Smethanie: The Macarena began playing through the dental office speakers as I lied helpless with the hygienist's hands in my mouth today. #survivor
@iTomFoolery: We’ve had the selfie and now the selfie stick. So when will our phones be renamed Selfones.