@KevinFarzad: College is expensive, BUT your student ID saves $3 at the movies. So really it pays for itself if you go to the theater 30,000 times.
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@Terry_maximo: [funeral] *walks up to give eulogy* *pulls notes out of pocket* "Frank was a weirdo that bit his toenails." *folds notes* *sits back down*
@dixie_dupree: Hell is full of ugly babies, tinkerbell tshirts and fat women debating the tastiness of frozen meals.....oh wait. This is just walmart
@Carbosly: I love it when waiters tell me to tell them when to stop grating cheese on my meal. It's cheese, dude. We'll be here a while.