@KevinFarzad: College is expensive, BUT your student ID saves $3 at the movies. So really it pays for itself if you go to the theater 30,000 times.
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@Roohani19: Apparently, "he's an army officer" isn't the correct response to "who's your daddy".
@FrenulumBreve: [Witness Protection Program] So the more ordinary, mundane your new name is, the easier it'll be to blend into your new- BUBBLENUTS McFUNKY!
@AngelaEhh: Bartender: What can I get you? Me: Sex, beards, rock & roll? Bartender: Me: Sparkling vampire crazy about me? Bartender: Me: Beer.
@kivtur: [How the rap feud started] Me: can u invite all the rappers to my b'day party? 2pac: sure, no biggie Biggie[eavesdropping]: [wipes tears]