@coIIegestudentz: College parties are great: You're taking shots with future doctors and the next Supreme Court judge is throwing up in the bathroom.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@mellimelle: Find a penny, pick it up. All day long you'll wtf, that thing is filthy. Wash your hands immediately.
@caliluvgirl77: [introducing myself to new boyfriends parents] "Hi, I usually don't make it this far"
@thatUPSdude: I'm not saying I'm bilingual but Brad Pitt is hot. In other news, I might not know what bilingual means.
@splegge: Put a pill in wife's mouth while asleep "WTF you doing?" "for your headache." "I don't have one!" Just what I wanted to hear! *unzip flys