@juliussharpe: Cologne - because people shouldn't have a choice whether or not they want to smell you.
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@thejamietighe: *turns off life support* *waits* *turns it back on* Me: How's she now? Him: Are you sure you're a doctor? Me: Doct... No, I'm from IT.
@CheetoBandito77: This lady cashier asked me if I wanted it "double bagged"...I said "No, you're not THAT ugly..." And that's why I'm not allowed in Target.
@GianDoh: How can I relax when every aspect of my physical and mental state is governed by something called The Nervous System?
@Pro_Jones_: (Job Interview) Interviewer: So, tell me about yourself. Me: I'm unemployed. I: How about something personal? Me: Personally I need a job.