@Home_Halfway: Colonel Mustard. In the kitchen. Eating soup. Calm down.
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@FlyJ_: Him: *down on one knee* Will you marry me? Me: Nah, I'm good, but... (puts up hand up to high five) thanks for asking!
@TheTimmyToes: [JanSport keynote address] (audience grumbling) "where is he?" *CEO emerges from backpack on stage* *crowd goes nuts*
@emmatheist: [Google search history] Moles How to kill moles How to make homemade bombs Rescue moles from cave-in Dealing with regret Mole stew