@Home_Halfway: "Come as you are. As you were. As I want you to be." ~ Kurt Cobain, confusing party coordinator
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@IamEnidColeslaw: Just before a Subway employee starts making my sandwich, I'll stop them and whisper, "Like you mean it."
@gato_fumando: i'll have a burg please [waiter looks confused] a burg. a meat frisbee. a seared bovine disc. a hamburger sandwich. a bunned beefling my man
@nagunnatelya: Husband: Have you lost weight? Me: About 10 lbs H: Who you trying to look good for? *wink M: You don't know him. He's on Twitter...