@VestaTot: My coworker just took a broom and pole vaulted over the cubicle partition to confront the woman who accused her of being on speed.

@zachreinert03: Every time I see the headline 'tragedy on film set' I think oh god m knight shymalan is making another goddamn movie

@usermcuserface: I don't think I'd be as calm as Billy Joel was in that song if an old man was sitting next to me making love to his tonic and gin.

@3sunzzz: So it turns out that you can't use Cool Whip as shaving cream, apparently. Narrator: Ursula needed 3 stitches in an undisclosed location.

@utofellatio: Henry constantly confuses sleeping people with dead people. Henry is also a necrophiliac so things get awkward for Henry quick