@murrman5: *comes home from poker night earlier than usual looks at wife while picking up the dog and leaves without saying anything*
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@KKAlThani: I bet whenever a cow eats a lot of grass she says to her friends "I've been eating like a cow!" and they'd laugh and moo or whatever cows do
@DiamondLou69: It's amazing how fast the first 30 minutes of work just fly by when you show up a half hour late for work.
@mydaughtersarmy: The horror and trauma of explaining homosexuality to a child, as told by an internet mom.
@LostCatDog: It's a comfort knowing Dad is looking down on me, but we should probably cut his hang-glider out of that tree one of these days.