@Fred_Delicious: Comic Sans walks into a bar. Barman says "sorry we don't serve your type in here"
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@Love_bug1016: [trying to impress date] Him: I want someone who's not afraid of a little PDA. Me: *keys I WANT THE SEX into the side of his car*
@jumpdashark: My tombstone will read: If You Don't Know Me By Now, You Will Never Ever Ever Know Me.