@ruinedpicnic: coming soon to a timeline near you
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@VanCityBlonde: Let's talk about the elephant in the room. I apologize for bringing it in here last night. There was alcohol involved. Can we keep him?
@Dr_awfulpants: *calls Rosetta Stone* Yes hi I was wondering if you had a course on body language *my friend choking on buffalo wings clutches his throat*
@Blarebare: The pet groomer didn't appreciate the 10 dollar bill I slid across the table to give my dog the "happy ending".
@Reverend_Scott: Wife: "Notice anything?" Me: "Is it your hair, shoes, dress, eyelashes, mascara, lipstick, or nails?" Wife: "You forgot to wear pants."