@MaryKoCo: Comment on every picture of someone's dog, "What is this"
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@Playing_Dad: If a pregnant friend tells you what the kid's name will be just whisper "AND THE DARK LORD'S PROPHECY WILL BE FULFILLED." They love that.
@ruinedpicnic: Joe: $400? For ONE night? Innkeeper: It's the honeymoon suite. [outside] Joe: No rooms. Mary: None? Joe: Bummer, huh. That barn looks cosy?
@texasstalkermom: That awkward moment you run into someone in public that you know, and there is nowhere to hide.
@green_eyed_doll: It must be hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest. I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.