@sportswithjohn: Commentator just said that the rain "may just be the tears of a heartbroken nation," which shows a fundamental misunderstanding of rain.
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@pinupteacher: Best thing about living in NY is you can order anything, anytime, and 30 minutes later it shows up. You see here? This here is an orangutan.
@agathagotstoned: What if cats are born with names & the fact that we call them names that aren't those names is the reason they act irrationally towards us?
@garrydavenport: Watson: "Holmes, why are you wrapped in a thin aluminium sheet?" Holmes: "DAMMIT, FOILED AGAIN!"