[commercial for boiling water] *enemies at castle wall are splashed with cool refreshing water* castle guard: there must be a better way!

@heidi420x: You have to PAY for a speeding ticket?! I thought it was a reward for beating other drivers..

1

@tedalexandro: We get it. If your candidate doesn't win in November, you're moving to the whitest English speaking country you can drive to.

1

@mrjohndarby: [first day as a vet] me: what seems to be the problem cat: meow me: yes but where

1

@Donna_McCoy: I wish I had the confidence of a person who marks themselves as "safe" on Facebook.

1

@BamDebikins: Yes, mother, I have gained weight. No, it was not appropriate to point it out by pinching my muffin top in front of thirty people.

8

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