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@jjhartinger: [Commercial for Disneyland]
Are you sunburnt and broke? Want to?
@3sunzzz: Fun Fact:
The average 3-year-old boy can stick 11 kernels of corn up his nose before he needs a trip to the ER.
@Skoogeth: god: awful nice planet you got there
god: it’d be a shame if someone…
earth: please don’t
god: created humanity
@Quartzjixler: Dancing Prime Minister
Dancing Chancellor of the Exchequer
Dancing Lord Privy Seal
-ABBA explores dance vis-a-vis constitutional monarchies
@causticbob: I recently got a tattoo with Chinese symbols that reads, "I don't know. I don't speak Chinese."
Then when people ask me what it means...
@Lynseyjo1: To the girl with the nazi swastika avi that just rt'd me...... You just rt'd a Jew!!!! Enjoy your evening shalom