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@jjhartinger: [Commercial for Disneyland]
Are you sunburnt and broke? Want to?
@UnFitz: "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain."
- me, peeping at you in the shower
@crunchenhancer: If you pour two beers in one glass, it's just one beer.
@: Body: I'm exhausted.
Brain: I'M AN EIGHT YEAR OLD ON CRACK!
@LeahBonnema: I can't take anymore of this 50 Shades of Grey promo. It's still your basic Cinderella story. Now she just has a ball gag.
@JermHimselfish: *sees a baby deer drinking from a stream*
*very quietly pulls out phone*
*likes Ice-T on Facebook*